It’s still true.
(via themadeshop)
You put the dick in “You’re a dick.”
Five reasons men are scum and women let us get away with it. One: we only want one thing. No exceptions. Two: we fall in love with you before we can have that thing and then fall back out once we’ve had it, whereas women conversely fall in love afterwards. Three: we will lie, cheat, steal or murder in order to get that thing… why am I sugarcoating this, you’re a big girl… in order to [have sex with] you. Four: we freely admit the numbers one, two, three, and women don’t care. And the number five reason why men are scum and women let us get away with it: you can’t live without us.
From “Dead Like Me” I hate to admit that if more women accepted this, they wouldn’t hate men so much.
David Letterman
Don’t Blame Conan. Team Coco.
pom5:
Conan’s statement makes this piece of work by Mike Mitchell even more awesome
(via: influent: supersonicelectronic)
Florida Court Sets Atheist Holy Day
In Florida , an atheist created a case against the upcoming Easter and 2 Passover Holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians and Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days.
The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, “Case dismissed!”
The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, “Your honor, How can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays…”
The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, “But you do. Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant.”
The lawyer said, “Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists.”
The judge said, “The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm 14:1 states, ‘The fool says in his heart, there is no God.’ Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that, if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned.”
You gotta love a Judge that knows his scripture!
Me: Of course he’s gonna cover his ass!!
Ben: Because he wants yours!
